9/11 will forever be... remembered as one of the saddest days in American history. Exactly 3 years after that tragedy was another sad day for my family. It was the day my mom was diagnosed with a recurrence of cancer. She fought valiantly, but succumbed to the disease exactly 13 months later on October 11.
At the funeral, mom had 5 pallbearers – her sons. My brothers and I had decided that since she carried us into this world, we were going to carry her out. She lived a hard life here on earth. At age 59, God said she had suffered enough and that it was time to come home. Knowing this gave us much peace, as we shouldered the responsibilty of taking our mother to a better place.
When I returned to the office, some friends gave me a tree to remember her. My kids called it the Grandma Tree and we decided to plant it in a special place in our backyard. Well, my skills as a gardener are at the same level as Roundup, so it was no surprise that the tree didn't grow much over the next few years.
Then one day my kids noticed that Grandma Tree had these beautiful purple and white flowers. A couple of days later, I was mowing the yard and stopped to reflect as I looked at the flowers which were now growing prolifically on Grandma Tree. At that very moment, I realized the significance of this event. The day my family first noticed the blooms was October 11, exactly three years after she died.
I love you mom.
At the funeral, mom had 5 pallbearers – her sons. My brothers and I had decided that since she carried us into this world, we were going to carry her out. She lived a hard life here on earth. At age 59, God said she had suffered enough and that it was time to come home. Knowing this gave us much peace, as we shouldered the responsibilty of taking our mother to a better place.
When I returned to the office, some friends gave me a tree to remember her. My kids called it the Grandma Tree and we decided to plant it in a special place in our backyard. Well, my skills as a gardener are at the same level as Roundup, so it was no surprise that the tree didn't grow much over the next few years.
Then one day my kids noticed that Grandma Tree had these beautiful purple and white flowers. A couple of days later, I was mowing the yard and stopped to reflect as I looked at the flowers which were now growing prolifically on Grandma Tree. At that very moment, I realized the significance of this event. The day my family first noticed the blooms was October 11, exactly three years after she died.
I love you mom.
Thanks for sharing your experience. Mine is really similar. I won't bore you with all of the details, but the story starts with a mother who suffered sexual abuse by her father and uncles as a little girl and did everything she could to raise her children in the right way. She did a great job at it.
ReplyDeleteIt ends with me receiving a call out of the blue at midnight telling me that she wasn't going to make it more than a day or two.
As I arrived at the hospital and saw my mom in ICU with tubes going in and coming out of just about every imaginable orifice just to keep her alive artificially I couldn't explain my shock and sadness. The next day after one final attempt at a surgery to save her life I was told she was going to die.
As I thought about that and then looked my mom in the eyes and told her the news, even though she couldn't speak I could see the sorrow in her eyes...
And then I was taught the most beautiful lesson I have ever learned. She had passed her test. She finally wanted to live after decades of wanting to die - in fact trying to kill herself numerous times. It was a sublime moment for me as I kissed her cheek and told her goodbye with her other children surrounding her bed.
Life isn't always fun and happy. But the most powerful lessons are often learned through sorrow.
Again, thanks for sharing. I echo your last statement.
I love you mom.